On top of epigrams

Nothing you were sold on? NOTHING YOU WERE SOLD ON?! Oh there was some selling alright, when you sold out democracy and everyone in this club with your selfish Unpacking Schratz's Library! I don't wanna help you unpack your library, you are obnoxiously well read and that could take hours. Where the EFF was the vote that would have secured GYNO (Get Your Novel On) as the rightful title? A) because it's an acronym that forms a vaguely uncouth word, B) because of the tasteful nod to the classic urban slang of the 1990's, and C) because B gives us some much-needed street cred. As for epigrams, Master Shake of The Aqua Teen Hunger Force spoke best of reading when he shouted "I can't read, I'm not a loser!". Succinctly underscoring the tragic dilemma inherent to the issue of literacy, Master Shake(speare?) leaves just enough ambiguity for one to ponder whether he is refusing to be called a loser for being unable to read, or if reading is an activity only voluntarily engaged in by losers? I very much like to think he means the latter and that the latter is true. And so, unlike the title of this blog, the choice is ours, friends: read on and embrace erudite loserdom, or resist and be ignorant, yet deliciously cool, milkshakes.

NOTE - It took everything I had to resist posting in Webdings font, because NOTHING communicates righteous indignation like the abject absurdity of Webdings. I chose Trebuchet instead, because I have launched a fiery (also note the flaming red font) barrage upon Schratz's tyranny. This has been......The Dudebrodogman